Friday, January 4, 2008


A friend of mine and I were talking today and the subject came up: Can anyone ever truly be happy? It seems like we're always in the pursuit of happiness; always waiting for that next big moment, wanting more time for family or self, working for more money and financial stability, making ourselves better get the picture. At what point does a person say to himself: "I'm happy just where I am." Is it possible that that moment will never come? My friend posed the question: Is it possible that happiness just comes in the process because you'll never reach a finished state?

I'm starting to feel like I just better enjoy the here-and-now because the happiness we're all striving for is impossible to be reached.

Oh, and I should add. These are just some thoughts rolling around in my head, people. It isn't a cry for help!


Melissa said...

I had that same realization when Jack was born. I was always thinking...when we have a house then...or when we make more money then... one day I realized that the best part of my life was being a part of all that. I get to have Dave and Jackson to share it with. Now and then I have to remind myself to enjoy what is happening here and now or I'll miss it.

Le Fiffre said...

I came across this yesterday... (kinda long for a comment, but?)

Bloom Where You Are Planted

Having a vision for our future that differs from our current circumstances can be inspiring and exciting, but it can also keep us from fully committing to our present placement. We may become aware that this is happening when we notice our thoughts about the future distracting us from our participation in the moment. We may find upon searching our hearts that we are waiting for some future time or situation in order to self-actualize. This would be like a flower planted in North Dakota putting off blooming because it would prefer to do so in Illinois.

There are no guarantees in this life, so when we hold back we do so at the risk of never fully blossoming. This present moment always offers us the ground in which we can take root and open our hearts now. What this means is that we live fully, wherever we are, not hesitating because conditions are not perfect, or we might end up moving, or we haven’t found our life partner. This can be scary, because we might feel that we are giving up our cherished dreams if we do not agree to wait for them. But this notion that we have to hold back our life force now in order to find happiness later doesn’t really make sense. What might really be happening is that we are afraid to embrace this moment, and ourselves, just exactly as we are right now. This constitutes a tendency to hold back from fully loving ourselves, as we are, where we are.

We have a habit of presenting life with a set of conditions—ifs and whens that must be fulfilled before we will say yes to the gift of our lives. Now is the time for each of us to bloom where we are planted, overriding our tendency to hold back. Now is the time to say yes, to be brave and commit fully to ourselves, because until we do no one else will. Now is the time to be vulnerable, unfolding delicately yet fully into the space in which we find ourselves.

Little Miss said...

I love the comment from le fiffre- I'm going to hold on to that one.

And I suppose some people compare happiness to perfection, but they are not one in the same. Being "happy" is an emotion, being "perfect" is a state of being that we can't ever achieve during this life-- but because we recognize that fact, we allow ourselves to be forgiven our faults, help others during times of weakness, and continually strive for perfection.

I think true happiness is just an emotion that comes and goes throughout the course of our lives--embrace it when we have it, and strive for it when we don't.

(sorry to be all philosophical--I'm in a weird mood)

Melissa said...

p.s. don't forget about the tag when you get a chance :)

The Hadleys said...

Thanks all -- love the comment le fiffre (is that you john?). I needed some commentary on this blog because I'm in a weird place right now and it helps if others put things into perspective for me.